I know where the time's gone.

It's been spent doing the stuff of life.

I was tempted to hop on here and write “I don’t know where the time has gone!”

But the fact is, I do. I know exactly where the time has gone.

Photo by Aldo De La Paz on Unsplash

I spent most of January (mostly) enjoying snowy days at home with my kids (there were A LOT of snow days). They probably watched too much TV, we played games and read books, I cooked and baked, we hosted friends. It was sweet.

I’ve been preparing to teach and then teaching. It’s most teaching I’ve ever done in two months and it was good for me; I loved it and it was a lot.

I’ve attended two funerals in the past month. One was a 3 hour drive from home (some of which I made with a college friend), and a beautiful chance to honor the dad of another college friend.

The other funeral was closer to home as we mourned a sister of faith from our church who died on Ash Wednesday. It was a full, sorrowful 12 days of joining with others to do the things a church ought to when one of their beloved goes home to the Lord.

Alongside my women’s ministry volunteer team, we hosted a retreat for our women, a sweet and fun time of being together and learning together. Then we turned around and hosted a women’s evening of lament just last week. A time to come before God with others, name what’s broken and lost in this world and our lives, then seek to trust and take comfort in the Man of Sorrows.

I’ve been meeting with people. Meetings can get a bad rap, but these have been fruitful, necessary meetings. I’ve walked away thankful.

I’ve also been taking solace and joy in cups of coffee and tea shared with friends shared over my kitchen table.

There are other things too that weigh heavy on me and those I love that don’t have a place in this space. I keep thinking of Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” I’ve been watching others bear heavy burdens for those they love, I’ve been trying to bear others’ burdens, and I’m thankful for those who have borne mine the past few months. It’s all changed me.

On the home front, I’ve been changing diapers, cooking dinner and occasionally mopping floors. I’ve read with my daughter. I’ve done puzzles with my son. I’ve snuggled, nuzzled and cuddled the baby. What a gift to have a baby these days.

At the risk of sounding cliche, these are all things I’m deeply grateful for. Going to two funerals in three weeks can shift the way you see your daily life.

I’ve been reading. Not nearly as much as I’d want, but what I have read has been chock full of delight, which is always needed in the dead of winter. I’ve read Saffiyah’s War, Here One Moment and Killers of a Certain Age. A pretty eclectic collection of books, but have each met me and brought me joy in just the way I’ve needed.

I’m re-listening to Fully Alive by Elizabeth Oldfield for Lent and it’s as good the second time around as the first.

Today’s St. Patrick’s Day. This morning, while my green-attired kids ate bowls of Lucky Charms, I read to them the story of this humble man who gave of himself for the Irish and we closed with singing Be Thou My Vision and reading St. Patrick’s Breastplate. These words read well the last few months of my life since I was last here, and know they’ll prove true tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow too.

As I arise today,
may the strength of God pilot me,
the power of God uphold me,
the wisdom of God guide me.
May the eye of God look before me,
the ear of God hear me,
the word of God speak for me.

May the hand of God protect me,
the way of God lie before me,
the shield of God defend me,
the host of God save me.
May Christ shield me today.

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit,
Christ when I stand,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.