with affection for John Newton

his life is more than Amazing Grace, but nothing less than amazing grace.

I want my writing to be a window into my house, not the house itself.

I love to write. I’ve wondered if I should write my meal planning routine, budgeting, the masculinity crisis, the resurgence of faith amongst “the youth”, my fasciation over left and right brain ways of knowing and how that’s shaping my parenting, family planning, the NYT plum cake recipe, my experiences navigating public school as a happy grad of homeschooling, covenant theology and Family Systems theory, living in a small-ish home as a family of five, the role of women in the church, why Galatians is a fascinating epistle, my newly formed love for my too-expensive rice cooker.

But for now, I want those conversations to stay in the garage where my friend and I workout twice a week, at the kitchen table where I gather with some of my dearests for cups of decaf and plates of dessert, on the streets where I take miles long walks with my neighbors, in my kitchen where I was dishes and talk with a college friend on the phone, on my living room couch where I drink tea with my husband and any guests we have over.

That’s the house of my life and the older I get, the more I want to keep the blinds drawn online. You’ve probably noticed this. Even writing about books I’m reading feels too personal sometimes.

But there is an oddly specific window with blinds I want to open: My experience of reading the writings and letters of John Newton.

St. Mary’s Woolnoth in London, where Newton worked for many years.

For the past 15 years, I’ve been dipping in and out the writings John Newton. John Donne wrote that “letters mingle souls.” My spiritual, emotional and relational life has mingled with Newton’s through his letters (and hymns) and I’ve been changed for the better.

You probably know John Newton as the slave-trader-turned-Christian who wrote Amazing Grace. All of that is true, but his story is not so straightforward and simple. He walked away from the chattel slave trade in 1754, but it was because of a health condition, not because of his spiritual awakening. In fact, he didn’t publish his influential pamphlet against the trade until 1788.

It’s those 34 years of his work in clergy that fascinate me. What happened to him? What was he doing? Who was he? How did he move from troubled, conscripted shipman to compassionate, openhanded curate? Who did he live with and among? Why did he choose to enter the clergy? Who were his influences? What other hymns did he write? How did he make sense of the times he lived in? And those times, interestingly, are not so unlike our own.

When you compare the beginning of Newton’s adult life and the end of his life, the contrast is startling. Tracing the journey from the beginning to end through his letters and hymns is what I hope to do here.

Those 34 years of Newton’s tell a story of remarkable grace. A story of grace that not only led him to denounce the heinous sin of chattel slavery that he participated in, but grace that led to years of pastoral care, writing hymns for his congregation, providing for those in his household, ministering to his friend William Cowper during Cowper’s illness, penning letters upon letters filled with affection, encouragement, instruction to those who sought his counsel. I could go on.

Newton has shown me, and continues showing me, that the work of grace is mind-expanding, multifaceted, relationally rich, emotionally satisfying, and lifelong. To riff on Tim Keller, grace is not the ABCs of the Christian life but the A to Z. Newton’s life and work has taught me thus.

John Newton was a significant influence on William Wilberforce, the British parliamentarian who played a key role in abolishing the British slave trade on the political front. After visiting Newton once, Wilberforce wrote the following.

“Called upon Old Newton - was much affected in conversing with him - something very pleasing and unaffected in him… On the whole he encouraged me… when I came away I found my mind in a calm, tranquil state, more humbled, and looking more devoutly to God.”

Those words mirror my experience of sitting with Newton through his hymns and letters. That’s why I want to write about his work here.

So welcome to Abby’s Reading 2.0, I suppose. I’m reading John Newton, and I’m letting his words read me. Hope you stick around.